I really relate to the people-pleasing and perfectionism experience -- it's my own that I've been unlearning and growing beyond very consciously and intentionally the last few years. Being AuDHD, it's really easy to disconnect from our own needs and wants in favor of externally focusing on others and what they need and want. Rejection sensitivity, struggling to belong anywhere socially, wanting to be wanted and needed as you authentically are but hiding in plain sight in favor of being small and acceptable because so often it feels unsafe and uncomfortable to advocate for yourself, set boundaries, disturb the peace, or call attention to yourself... It just gets so challenging to connect to your power and recognize that it's okay to create boundaries that support your energy and well-being vs. being the "yes" person who over-gives, over-delivers to their own detriment. When I first learned about the idea of filling our own cup first, then giving to others from the overflow, it made so much sense and smacked me in the head with how difficult I'd been making my life by giving to depletion without restoring my capacity. There's so much I could say about all of this, but for now, I'll just leave this here and say thank you for writing this and sharing your perspective :)
Thank you Kira for reading and adding to the dialogue. I once described living in New York City (something I did for several years) as hiding in plain sight / hiding inside a crowd -- so now you've got me thinking more deeply on the topic. I feel seen and I see you!
Oof! I couldn't do the big city life haha. What you say makes total sense, and I feel like it'd be easier to disappear in a place so full of energy and people and lack of real connection. Thank you 🥰🥰
I really relate to the people-pleasing and perfectionism experience -- it's my own that I've been unlearning and growing beyond very consciously and intentionally the last few years. Being AuDHD, it's really easy to disconnect from our own needs and wants in favor of externally focusing on others and what they need and want. Rejection sensitivity, struggling to belong anywhere socially, wanting to be wanted and needed as you authentically are but hiding in plain sight in favor of being small and acceptable because so often it feels unsafe and uncomfortable to advocate for yourself, set boundaries, disturb the peace, or call attention to yourself... It just gets so challenging to connect to your power and recognize that it's okay to create boundaries that support your energy and well-being vs. being the "yes" person who over-gives, over-delivers to their own detriment. When I first learned about the idea of filling our own cup first, then giving to others from the overflow, it made so much sense and smacked me in the head with how difficult I'd been making my life by giving to depletion without restoring my capacity. There's so much I could say about all of this, but for now, I'll just leave this here and say thank you for writing this and sharing your perspective :)
Thank you Kira for reading and adding to the dialogue. I once described living in New York City (something I did for several years) as hiding in plain sight / hiding inside a crowd -- so now you've got me thinking more deeply on the topic. I feel seen and I see you!
Oof! I couldn't do the big city life haha. What you say makes total sense, and I feel like it'd be easier to disappear in a place so full of energy and people and lack of real connection. Thank you 🥰🥰